kathy

People say watching movies is a way to escape reality. But I say it’s not.

How can one escape reality in the first place? There is no way, really. Watching movies even presents us with the reality around us. It’s like watching yourself on the big screen, except it’s more colorful, more fantastic, and it’s Drew Barrymore.

Since I’ve been here in New Zealand, I got to remember what I used to like doing. Yes, I now have time to read more books (fiction ones of course, not the English or World History text books anymore), write something to post here, and watch movies on dvd (cinemas are quite expensive here). I’ve read 4 books, wrote and posted 1 long blog, watched the movie "Sex and the City" at Hoyts (maybe watching at least 1 time in a movie theater would not hurt, and besides, it’s Carry Bradshaw!), and watched more than 2 dozens of movies on dvd (by the way, Video Ezy has its $1 Wednesday so we get to rent loads of dvds for a week at a very cheap price) and on tv (it’s movie night every Saturdays and Sundays here).

From classics like "Breakfast at Tiffany’s" to comedies like "Click" to adventure and fantasy stories like "The Golden COmpass" and "Stardust" to animations like "Ratatouille" to action flicks like "Mission Impossible 3" to tear-jerking ones like "The Pursuit of Happyness" to musicals like "Chicago" and "Dreamgirls," we’ve got them all covered. But among those I’ve seen lately, it’s Drew Barrymore’s "Riding in Cars with Boys" that had prompted me to write this blog.

"Riding in Cars with Boys" is the story of Beverly D’onofrio. She’s a smart girl whose dream of becoming a writer in New York got a little diversion when she was swept to her feet by Raymond, a school dropout who avenged her broken heart by punching the face of the school jock she was in love with. So what’s the problem with that? She got pregnant, she didn’t want to marry Raymond, she loves her father dearly that she didn’t want him humiliated as he was a respected police officer in the town, it was 1961 and she was only 15. Nevertheless, Bev still married Ray and the young couple tried their best to maintain their family while Ray worked as a carpenter and Bev juggled from taking care of their son Jason and going to school in the hopes of getting a scholarship to NYU.

Maybe fate and luck was not on her side, or maybe it was simply the forgetfulness or stupidity of her husband Ray that Bev was not able to get the scholarship to NYU. Several more arguments and finally Bev asked Ray to move out of their house, even it was heart breaking for their son Jason to see his father leave. Years passed with Bev working, studying, raising her son alone, and still never giving up her dream to become a writer.

When Bev finished writing her first book, she had to ask Ray to sign a letter consenting her to publish the book with information about him taking illegal drugs, and Jason, who’s now grown up, had finally confronted her with everything that he has kept inside.

Here’s the dialogue, got this from www.wikiquote.org:

Jason: Who says I’m in one piece?

Beverly: You’re the most normal person I know.

Jason: Normal? Normal? Amelia was in New York two weeks ago. She wants me to transfer. She wants me to enroll in her school. But I can’t go. I can’t leave you. Cause if something bad happens…[crying]… it’s my fault. I’m what went wrong in your life. You know, you wrote a book about it. I swore I wouldn’t - Did you know that I love Amelia? Don’t worry, she left already. Here’s the funny thing. She thinks I can’t love her because she can’t make me happy… and damn it, she’s the only good thing in my life. I’m just incredibly screwed up. Just so we’re real clear about this, I blame you.

Beverly: When does this job ever end?  

Jason: You call it a job?

Beverly: Well, what do you think it is? A calling?

Then Bev explained…

Beverly: I want to make something clear. I don’t think I would’ve been better off without you. You are not what went wrong with anything. You were what saved me. I want to thank you for that. Okay?

AND THAT HIT ME!

Yes, I admit that sometimes I think of what went wrong with my life. But that is not to say that my life before was perfect. It’s just that sometimes I feel I could have gotten better in my life, that I could have more, that I could BE more.

Yes, I did think that getting pregnant was that turning point in my life. I’d like to call it that, instead of calling it the what-went-wrong phase of my life because after all, it’s what made me stronger, more mature, and more directed in life. But I recall some moments then when I felt like how Beverly D’Onofio felt… that she could have gone to NYU and become a writer in NY without going through all the hardships of being a young and technically a single parent to Jason. Me? I could have gone to a university in Japan or in the US with a scholarship and become a writer, if not a teacher, in NY too, without the toughest and roughest years I had, and I think I still am going through as a single mom to Kyla and now as a very tired and seemingly hopeless blue collar worker in a freezing cold (literally and figuratively) foreign country.

But this is reality. And I can’t escape it. I can’t even deny it. So what can I do? Nothing much, really, especially now that I am just getting by here week after week, persevering, working my ass off, in the hope of getting a better future for myself and my beautiful kid, and having faith in God that He only works for the good of mankind.

And maybe, just maybe, I can also be like Beverly D’Onofio, after "Riding in Cars with Boys," she remained as the girl who did everything wrong, but got everything right

This entry was posted on Friday, August 8th, 2008 at 7:25 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.