kathy

People say watching movies is a way to escape reality. But I say it’s not.

How can one escape reality in the first place? There is no way, really. Watching movies even presents us with the reality around us. It’s like watching yourself on the big screen, except it’s more colorful, more fantastic, and it’s Drew Barrymore.

Since I’ve been here in New Zealand, I got to remember what I used to like doing. Yes, I now have time to read more books (fiction ones of course, not the English or World History text books anymore), write something to post here, and watch movies on dvd (cinemas are quite expensive here). I’ve read 4 books, wrote and posted 1 long blog, watched the movie "Sex and the City" at Hoyts (maybe watching at least 1 time in a movie theater would not hurt, and besides, it’s Carry Bradshaw!), and watched more than 2 dozens of movies on dvd (by the way, Video Ezy has its $1 Wednesday so we get to rent loads of dvds for a week at a very cheap price) and on tv (it’s movie night every Saturdays and Sundays here).

From classics like "Breakfast at Tiffany’s" to comedies like "Click" to adventure and fantasy stories like "The Golden COmpass" and "Stardust" to animations like "Ratatouille" to action flicks like "Mission Impossible 3" to tear-jerking ones like "The Pursuit of Happyness" to musicals like "Chicago" and "Dreamgirls," we’ve got them all covered. But among those I’ve seen lately, it’s Drew Barrymore’s "Riding in Cars with Boys" that had prompted me to write this blog.

"Riding in Cars with Boys" is the story of Beverly D’onofrio. She’s a smart girl whose dream of becoming a writer in New York got a little diversion when she was swept to her feet by Raymond, a school dropout who avenged her broken heart by punching the face of the school jock she was in love with. So what’s the problem with that? She got pregnant, she didn’t want to marry Raymond, she loves her father dearly that she didn’t want him humiliated as he was a respected police officer in the town, it was 1961 and she was only 15. Nevertheless, Bev still married Ray and the young couple tried their best to maintain their family while Ray worked as a carpenter and Bev juggled from taking care of their son Jason and going to school in the hopes of getting a scholarship to NYU.

Maybe fate and luck was not on her side, or maybe it was simply the forgetfulness or stupidity of her husband Ray that Bev was not able to get the scholarship to NYU. Several more arguments and finally Bev asked Ray to move out of their house, even it was heart breaking for their son Jason to see his father leave. Years passed with Bev working, studying, raising her son alone, and still never giving up her dream to become a writer.

When Bev finished writing her first book, she had to ask Ray to sign a letter consenting her to publish the book with information about him taking illegal drugs, and Jason, who’s now grown up, had finally confronted her with everything that he has kept inside.

Here’s the dialogue, got this from www.wikiquote.org:

Jason: Who says I’m in one piece?

Beverly: You’re the most normal person I know.

Jason: Normal? Normal? Amelia was in New York two weeks ago. She wants me to transfer. She wants me to enroll in her school. But I can’t go. I can’t leave you. Cause if something bad happens…[crying]… it’s my fault. I’m what went wrong in your life. You know, you wrote a book about it. I swore I wouldn’t - Did you know that I love Amelia? Don’t worry, she left already. Here’s the funny thing. She thinks I can’t love her because she can’t make me happy… and damn it, she’s the only good thing in my life. I’m just incredibly screwed up. Just so we’re real clear about this, I blame you.

Beverly: When does this job ever end?  

Jason: You call it a job?

Beverly: Well, what do you think it is? A calling?

Then Bev explained…

Beverly: I want to make something clear. I don’t think I would’ve been better off without you. You are not what went wrong with anything. You were what saved me. I want to thank you for that. Okay?

AND THAT HIT ME!

Yes, I admit that sometimes I think of what went wrong with my life. But that is not to say that my life before was perfect. It’s just that sometimes I feel I could have gotten better in my life, that I could have more, that I could BE more.

Yes, I did think that getting pregnant was that turning point in my life. I’d like to call it that, instead of calling it the what-went-wrong phase of my life because after all, it’s what made me stronger, more mature, and more directed in life. But I recall some moments then when I felt like how Beverly D’Onofio felt… that she could have gone to NYU and become a writer in NY without going through all the hardships of being a young and technically a single parent to Jason. Me? I could have gone to a university in Japan or in the US with a scholarship and become a writer, if not a teacher, in NY too, without the toughest and roughest years I had, and I think I still am going through as a single mom to Kyla and now as a very tired and seemingly hopeless blue collar worker in a freezing cold (literally and figuratively) foreign country.

But this is reality. And I can’t escape it. I can’t even deny it. So what can I do? Nothing much, really, especially now that I am just getting by here week after week, persevering, working my ass off, in the hope of getting a better future for myself and my beautiful kid, and having faith in God that He only works for the good of mankind.

And maybe, just maybe, I can also be like Beverly D’Onofio, after "Riding in Cars with Boys," she remained as the girl who did everything wrong, but got everything right

I’ve been wanting to write a blog about my adventures, more on the misadventures actually, here in New Zealand. I just couldn’t squeeze in a little time in my seemingly over hectic schedule here J but anyways, i finally got this time to do it. So here goes.

The Airport – everything went along fine, from NAIA to Sydney, Australia. There were no horrible delays (just a few minutes because there’s this guy who slept very soundly and got late on boarding the place), the food was okay, and i was even able to watch Catherine Zeta-Jones’ Houdini movie (she’s really stunning!). but not until we finally arrived in Christchurch, NZ airport… the torturous interrogation and confusion was very stressful. And going out of the seemingly deserted airport, not knowing where my friends are was even more horrible!

But that is all in the past now. Good intentions, clear conscience, a lot of prayers, calmness and consistency did all the trick J

The Bus – we always had to walk here in Christchurch. Although my friend jacky has a car, of course she would like to save up on gas, so we always end up walking to and from the city centre. And here’s the deal, our flat is like 5 blocks away from the city centre. Sounds near huh? But no, 1 block here is like 3 to 4 blocks there in Lucena! So we got a lot of walking exercise here, that’s for sure J

Aside from walking, the other convenient way for us to travel is by bus. There’s this cool Bus Exchange in the heart of the city centre where all the buses drive through to drop off and pick up passengers. Yeah, it’s like a bus terminal, but it looks more like the waiting area of an airport with all the monitors around giving you the ETA (estimated time of arrival) of the buses, maps, escalators, ATMs, and paging system.

Anyways, there’s this one day when i really felt very tired because of my 1^st 6 hours of training at a convenience store where i had to be standing up all the time (even during breaks because there’s nowhere to sit on inside and outside of the Victoria branch!) stacking items on the shelves, frying chips, cleaning around, and serving at the till – cash register as we would call it there in pinas. And so my feet were really sore that i wouldn’t have the energy anymore to walk back home, i decided to take the bus. Besides, i had to meet up with jacky at the Eastgate Mall because i had to buy a pair of pants and black shoes which were required at work, so i really had to take the bus.

I checked for the bus number that will pass by the Eastgate Mall and proceeded to the corresponding platform to wait for the bus. I waited… and waited… and waited… until i heard the bus number being spoken at the paging system. I hurriedly run to the door leading to the bus and got on to the front seat near the driver. I also make sure i have this seat on the bus so i can always tell the driver where i am headed to and ask him to just drop me off there, especially when i am new to a place. Yet i forgot to tell the driver this, feeling confident that i was on the right bus number.

Yeah, i was on the right bus number… but the bus was still going the opposite direction of my destination! “Don’t panic,” i told myself calmly because i know that the bus will still go back to the Bus Exchange no matter what happens. It just cannot not go back there. So  i am safe and i can always just drop off the Bus Exchange if the bus won’t go to my destination. And for my peace of mind, i politely asked the driver if it’s going back to the Bus Exchange and told him i was supposed to go to Eastgate Mall. The bus driver was such an angel and told me that the bus will be going to my destination.

So there, i was safely dropped off the mall… after an hour and a half of going around my unchartered streets of Christchurch and having jacky wait for quite a long time. But at least i was able to see the other parts of the city. I now know where the University of Canterbury is, and the Riccarton Mall too. And my friend had forgiven me for the long wait J

The Dog Park – where else in the world can we find such a vast place for dogs to run around and have some training? My friends and i just couldn’t believe it! Our new friend uly (short for ulysis) drove us away from the city centre one sat afternoon, which by the way has almost become a habit because he feels lonely while jacky, jazzie and i want to tour around Christchurch, bringing us to this place that surprised us all. We all thought we’re just going to another park, but as we got inside the place, there were just a few tables and benches for picnic and all the rest was a place for the dogs delight. Plus, we were the only group there who had no dog!

Still, we ate our packed snack, laughed at the place and laughed at ourselves for not getting into a human park instead. J

Night ‘n Day – it is indeed a night and day job at that convenience store because i had to go there before 10 in the evening and leave the store at 6 in the morning. What could be wrong with that? I had worked in call centers before and already experienced graveyard shifts, but it was all just talking to bank clients over the phone, sitting on my own desk in the office, chatting with my office friends who also chose the same shift, eating lots of food brought by everyone, and even watching DVDs when there’s no more phone calls. This time it’s different.

I already enumerated above the things to do inside the store. But add to that, you have drunk customers coming in and out of the store! Yes, there’s a security person but he’s only there from 11 PM till 4 AM. And soon as he got off from his post, all the more drunkards came inside the store because the clubs around the block close down at 4 in the morning. What’s worse, there’s only 2 staff in the store; me and a Chinese guy who’s tall but geeky and pale looking. And the worst thing is, those freaking drunkards bully the poor guy.

Good thing they never bullied me. That could’ve made me even more panicky there. I already didn’t know what to do whenever i hear the loud voices, some were even shouting, of those people coming out of the clubs who might be getting inside the store.

I remember there’s this drunken Kiwi girl who teased and made fun of my co-staff when she asked for the price of the nachos, if she could get it for a lower price when she shows him her boobs. She ordered for the nachos anyways and when i served her that, she said “Thanks, that’s sweet.” And there was this young Latino guy, who’s also drunk and also ordered for nachos, who was polite when he asked for extra cheese. There was also this Maori guy who even gave me a tip! With his slurred speech (yes, because he’s drunk) he said that i can keep the change. It was only 40 cents, but still that’s a sweet thought.

Although there were those few times i felt lucky to have experienced such diversity in culture with those drunken customers of Night ‘n Day, my fear of having myself exposed to more unsafe situations weighed heavier that i finally decided to quit the job that i had merely started. It is way better for me to protect myself from the dangers of that inconvenient store J

That’s just the first part. I’ve been here in New Zealand for 6 six weeks, and there are more stories to tell. I only hope those will all be positive ones. But what the heck! Life will be such a bore without these (mis)adventures, ayt? J

As I mentioned in my previous blog, I attended a 2-day training for school paper advisers. Not only did I learn more about the How-Tos of writing articles for the school paper, I also learned, MORE IMPORTANTLY, to always uphold responsible journalism even at the campus level.

With the recent controversy about MALU FERNANDEZ of People Asia and Manila Standard Today, mentioning on her article derogatory statements about OFWs in Dubai, I just can’t let this urge of writing a blog about it pass. As Teacher Elsie, our ISBB Directress, has repeatedly said, we must be eternal teachers - we must always take advantage of the chance to teach our students good values and right attitudes wherever we may be. And so, I decided to write this here for all my students to learn about responsible journalism, even if you’re not a student journalist.

Here are samples of Malu Fernandez’ statements on her June 2007 People Asia article "From Boracay to Greece"  :

• However, I forgot that the hub was in

  Dubai

  and the majority of the OFWs (overseas
  Filipino workers) were stationed there. The duty-free shop was overrun with
  Filipino workers selling cell phones and perfume. Meanwhile, I wanted to slash
  my wrist at the thought of being trapped in a plane with all of them.

• “Hey there? Where are you from? Are you a domestic helper as
  well?” I thought I had died and God had sent me to my very own private hell.

• On my way back, I had to bravely take the economy flight
  once more. This time I had already resigned myself to being trapped like
  sardine in a sardine can with all these OFWs smelling of AXE and Charlie
  cologne while my Jo Malone evaporated into thin air.

Who wouldn’t be irate with these statements? Even if I am not an OFW, I still felt insulted with these words from the writer. Her article surely fired up the emotions of Filipinos, especially those who are OFWs in Dubai. And even if she has apologized already and resigned from her post, personally, that are still not enough.

I’ve written this not to evoke some more anger from whoever will be reading this. I just want everyone to be reminded that yes, there is freedom of the press, but there’s also such thing s as responsible journalism, journalistic virtues, journalism ethics. Simply put, when we don’t have anything nice to say (or write), then don’t say (or write) a word. And when I say "nice" here, it does not mean we are to put ONLY positive words about something or someone; understand that anyone can publish his/her opinion or reaction about something or someone, so long as that opinion or reaction has relevance to what the whole article is saying. Relevance here is further defined as something that has an intention of eliciting something good in the end and making others have a better understanding of the subject being discussed in the article.

WITH THIS I would like to reiterate, especially to campus journalists, be more careful with what you write. Be responsible in every word that you say and publish. Remember to be honest and always be on the truth’s side, but remember too that there is a time and a proper venue where you can say out loud whatever it is that you would like to be heard.

As we say it, we do not wash our dirty linens in public =)

Finally, TO THE EDITORS, Malu Fernandez’ case should not be taken solely by the said writer. Whoever the editor of her article, and also the Editor in Chief, should also be responsible for the havoc brought about by what was published. The editor(s) could have screened the article by Malu Fernandez. They could have graded the facts — are they significant to the article? do they make sense? or are they just a crap of words used to make the article longer? The editor(s) could have stopped this  mayhem even before it started.

    I never thought I could ever write a sports article, not till I tried it yesterday. The Division Training for School Paper Advisers yesterday and today "forced" me to write one, and it turned out well, much to my surprise. The speaker there, Ms. Benilda Villenas, MSEUF Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences, a seasoned and award-winning campus paper adviser and lecturer, wrote comments like "very good lead" and "very good sports reporting" on my paper! As I am very ecstatic about this, I’d like to share with you all my very first sports article. 

Blue Knights Run Over Marians
A crucial free throw shot with only three seconds left on the clock paved the way for a victory of the Blue Knights over the Marians at the "Shoot for a Cause" game last Aug. 20 at the Quezon Convention Center.

The International School for Better Beginnings high school basketball varsity team led all three quarters of the game. It was only Maryhill College’s Lajara who worked his way up to the fourth quarter into a deadlock at 71-71, five seconds remaining before the final buzzer.

Just as QCC heated up with its air conditioners off, the blood pumping excitement on the game sizzled more as ISBB’s team captain Sanga was given two shots at the free throw line when the referee called for a foul play by a Marian. With a nerve cracking pressure from the spectators, Sanga missed his first shot.

Silence fell over the hardcourt while the Blue Knight aimed at his last free shot. Thunderous cheers followed the successful one-point lead made by Sanga, ending the game 72-71.
 

My dear ISB2 SENIORS,

 I just read this email
this night (Nov.18, 2006 9:52PM) and I feel the need to share this with you.
It’s not that I’m being defensive or anything, I just think you might read
through this first before you make any judgments on what you hear or read about
university rankings, particularly my alma mater the Ateneo, and especially now that you will soon be
choosing which school to go to for your college education.

 Patiently read all these
please; it’s a bit long but worth your time reading.

Thanks!

Teacher Kathy
J

A response to the THES World University Rankings

date posted: 2006-11-17 10:37:05
http://www.ateneo. edu/index.
php?p=120&type=2&sec=31&aid=2989

(Note: On Oct. 5, 2006, a global survey of higher educational institutions —
the Times Higher Education Supplement - Quacquarelli Symonds [THES-QS]

World

[500th]. [The complete results are posted in QS Top Universities Website.] To enlighten the community
regarding the results of the THES survey, the University President writes the
following response .)

The context of the
Times rankings is the process of internationalization of universities; in
particular, they are intended for students looking for places abroad to study.
Ateneo understands that internationalization in the university is important in
our globalizing world and, thus, we understand the purpose of these rankings.
However, each university and each country have their own priorities. The priority in the vision/mission of the Ateneo has
been the formation of leaders in Christian and Jesuit values and contribution
to overcoming poverty and national development. Thus, we have
responded to internationalization by what is the most advanced student mobility and study abroad program in the country.

• JGSOM’s Junior Term Abroad
       creates opportunities for college juniors to spend one semester in any of
       the Ateneo’s many partner universities. This year, 114 Ateneo college
       students are spending a semester in universities in Asia (particularly

  China

  ,

  Japan

  ,
      

  Singapore

  ), in Europe
       and the

  United States

  .
       We will have 150 students annually in study abroad programs in the next
       two years and this will continue to grow. 

• We have students from the
       Schools of Science and Engineering, Social Sciences, Humanities and the
       Graduate School of Business who also spend a semester or year abroad. We
       also have summer student cultural programs to Europe (through our European
       Studies Program) and Asia (particularly Macau, Hong Kong, and

  China

  ). In
       the next years, we want to tap more partners in these countries and to go
       into new partnership agreements with other countries in Europe, (

  Spain

  , the

  Netherlands

  ,
      

  Belgium

  , and

  Germany

  ) and Asia (

  Malaysia

  ,

  Taiwan

  ,
       and

  Thailand

  ).
      

• Those who cannot go abroad are
       offered the opportunity of studying with foreign classmates through our
       inbound students. Our agreements have also allowed us to host a mix of
       international students on campus from China, Indonesia, Malaysia,
       Singapore, France, Germany, the US, Japan, Macau, Vietnam, Cambodia, and
       Myanmar. 

These programs follow our priority of leadership formation,
since we believe that leaders of tomorrow will have to be increasingly global
in their perspective. We do receive international students. However, a focus on
attracting foreign students (the purpose of the Times rankings) has been a
secondary priority for us. 

From our international exchanges, we see that we are highly
respected among those who have come to know us. Just in the last few months, when
China decided to set up Confucius Institutes for the teaching of Chinese
language and culture in about 100 universities around the world, the Ateneo de
Manila was the first (and so far the only) university designated in the
Philippines. In addition, the World Press Photojournalism Institute in the

Netherlands

has
also chosen the Ateneo as partner for its program in photojournalism. We will
exert more effort to better communicate this to the outside world. Our alumni
abroad can help us a lot in this regard. 

There are other efforts to increase the number and quality
of our active international partnerships and programs. We have been
benchmarking for quality (IEEE standards for ECCE, attendance of conferences,
networks) and sending our students to regional competitions, among others.
However, because of our small size and relatively few programs until recently,
our international reach has been limited. In surveys like this, size matters,
both in the number of students and the diversity of programs. 

In a world dominated by science and technology, it was only
in the last ten years or so that the Ateneo has established itself in science
and technology. We were thus small, both in terms of number of students and
diversity of programs. But we must also remember that it was this small size
and the focus on formation and the core curriculum (esp. philosophy, theology,
literature) that our alumni treasure most. It is to the formation they obtained
in this focus of the Ateneo that they attribute their own growth in leadership.
Thus, while the smallness makes us less
widely known outside the

Philippines

.

Today, we are a University of about 7,585 undergraduates and
3,300 graduate students. Relative to its size, the proportion of Ateneo
graduates in local and regional leadership positions in the academe,
government, and business is impressive. We have a growing number of alumni
abroad who have become leaders in the international world. We believe that a
great part of their success comes from Ateneo’s focus on formation and on core
curriculum courses such as philosophy and theology. As mentioned above, we are
becoming better known through our growing international contacts and through
our students studying abroad; our culture of forming leaders and contributing
to national development is highly respected. 

The area of research, particularly research published in ISI
journals, is an area where we realize we have to do much more. The tradition of
the Ateneo de Manila, and the tradition of the great majority of universities
until the last few decades, has been that of preparing leaders for society. In
recent decades, the role of the leading universities has moved towards the
creation of new knowledge, namely research. The Ateneo de Manila, in particular
the Loyola Schools, has invested much to increase research efforts. We have
chosen certain areas where we feel we can make a significant difference, and we
are excellent in these areas. But we realize that much more needs to be done.
This will require, however, careful discussion and planning, because we do not
want to lose focus on our priority goals of leadership formation and
contribution to national development. These latter goals, we believe, are still
Ateneo’s most important contribution to the

Philippines

. 

The rankings challenge us to improve our efforts in
internationalizatio n and research, but it has to be recognized that the
criteria, purpose, and survey instrument (please refer to Notes below) also do
not reflect certain aspects that make the Ateneo an excellent Philippine
university. As mentioned above, the formation of leaders and contributing to
national development is our priority; however, these priority concerns of ours
are not given weight in the Times rankings. 

Rankings in the Times survey are important because they
measure how the world perceives us. But just as a person has to take what
people think of them in the context of their own values and priorities, we,
too, have to reflect on these perceptions and measures within our own view of
our vision and mission. Thus, while we will work on strengthening our research
and publications in ISI journals (because these are the dominant measures in
the Times and other surveys), we need to do this in a way that does not move us
away from our vision/mission and our traditional strengths: leadership
formation and contribution to national development. These have to continue to be our priorities as a Jesuit university
committed to the service of faith and the promotion of justice and as a
university in a

Philippines

,
whose greatest challenge is overcoming poverty and national development.

Notes:

The survey
criteria:

Peer Review
- 40% (name recall and contacts)
Recruiter Review - 10%
International Faculty Score - 5%
International Students Score - 5%
Faculty/Student Score - 20%
Citations/Faculty Score - 20% (number of researches in ISI journals and/or the
number of times publications have been cited by other work) 

The survey
asked the Ateneo to supply only the following:

1. Number of faculty
(teachers, teaching assistants, full time equivalent)
2. Number of international faculty
3. Number of undergraduate students
4. Number of international undergraduate students
5. Average course fees per year for an undergraduate course
6. Average course fees per year for an international undergraduate
7. Number of postgraduate students
8. Number of international postgraduate students
9. Average course fees per year for a postgraduate course
10. Average course fees per year for an international postgraduate
11. Library expenditure for the most recent academic year
12. Average entry requirements for an undergraduate course
13. Percentage of graduates employed six (6) months post-graduation

(Note: I actually wrote this May 2004 pa and luckily I still have it in my cousin’s pc. It’s my 3rd Mother’s Day na last Sunday. This is a bit long, but please read on… )

            My siblings and I get excited whenever the month of May approaches. Aside from my youngest brother’s birthday on the ninth, the second Sunday of this month is very special because it’s Mother’s Day. We plan for the gift and gimmick that we would have for the most important woman in our lives, our Mama.

            We would usually set up a surprise for Mama, complete with the computer-printed banners, Hallmark Greeting cards, cakes, balloons, and of course the bouquet of flowers delivered right in front of our doorstep. But more than all the fancy things and fun times we have, it is only today that I understand better the significance of this occasion – now that I am a mother too.

            It has only been four months and a half since I first gave birth yet it seems like it has been forever since I first laid eyes on the most beautiful creature I have ever seen and I have ever loved – my own daughter Kyla Dominique.

            My pregnancy and labor were not all fireworks though; not like the ones you see on TV commercials with smiling expectant mothers. From a heartbreaking love story to a teleserye drama of my family’s reaction, I literally carried on through my pregnancy alone. I went back to Manila, looked for a job in a company that would accept a 5-month pregnant woman as a new hire, went to the OB-Gyne alone, even went to a Dermatologist because of some red spots on my body that turned out to be chickenpox, and traveled by bus going to Quezon on special occasions that required my presence. And when my father and I started to notice each other’s existence again on Christmas day, my water-bag broke at three o’clock in the morning of December 26. I was rushed to a private hospital in the province not worrying about the one month pre-maturity of my labor, but of my baby’s clothes and other stuff left in Manila. I was indeed one tough and lucky woman to get through all these – alive.

            Everything I’ve been through since I learned that I was six weeks pregnant is just like a mustard seed compared to a sycamore tree-size of everything that my Mama has been through, and still going through, in her 23 years of being a mother. In this career called motherhood, I am still a baby myself, but my views and perceptions about a lot of things have changed quite positively. Having my own baby now has opened my eyes and broadened my perspective about the choices and decisions that my Mama had in the past, those that my young mind and young heart could not accept before.

            Marrying right after college has put my parents in a condition where they had no other choice but to look for greener pasture to sustain a family. They alternately went abroad to work, my Papa as a family driver and my Mama as a domestic helper. When it was my Mama’s turn to go, I was barely a year old and was left to the care of my Papa and my grandparents. Mama said she came back after two years and it was really heartbreaking for her when I could not recognize her then. Similarly, I am now working real hard for my daughter even if it costs me week days and nights far from her. I spent sleepless nights thinking hard before I made this decision to work in Manila for a salary that could compensate for me and my baby’s expenses now. And maybe because I am afraid that my daughter would also one day just stare at me like I am a stranger, I can’t wait till it’s week end to go to my province and be with my baby. Never mind if it is a Friday gimmick night, I won’t waste that one night without my cute little daughter all cuddled up beside me.

            When I got pregnant, I never thought that my gimmick times would really become less and less. Though I was still able to sing along with Mariah Carey live in concert at the Bonifacio Open Field even when I was already six months pregnant (I stood there  for five hours straight!) and went out to dinner either in Glorietta or Greenbelt in my maternity clothes, my world turned a different turn after I gave birth. I would rather sing nursery rhymes, do baby talk, or just watch my baby sleep than go out with my friends. Now I know why my Mama chooses to stay at home to watch us, her children, pillow fight or check whether we already finished our homework, than to go ballroom dancing or aerobics with her friends. Just like Mama, every second that I can spend with my daughter counts, and I don’t want to miss any of it.

            It is not only time that a mother would save to spend with her children, money is another important thing. My Mama would only buy things that are really needed, the essential ones, and she would even refuse an offer from us to treat her for a haircut or a foot scrub. While I admit, I used to buy on impulse, but that was before I had this big responsibility of providing for my daughter’s needs now and for her future. So before I take out a single centavo of my hard earned money from my wallet today, I wouldn’t mind spending some extra time to think about it first. Will I buy that really cute floral swim suit or that Pampers Dry Comfort 22’s? Will I get that new cell phone model payable in six monthly installments or that child’s educational plan premium payable in five years?

            There are more stories and examples from which I have come to a better understanding of how it is to be a mother. All the sacrifices that my Mama did for us, I know I am now willing to do for my daughter as well. All the hardships that my Mama went through and is still going through for us, I know I am now willing to face for my daughter as well. All the tears that my Mama cried for us and all the laughter she shared with us, I know I am now willing to be sad, hurt, and happy for my daughter as well.

            More than the surprise greetings, gift and flowers that my siblings gave me for my very first Mother’s Day celebration, I received the most important gifts from my Mama: the wisdom, the understanding, and the unconditional love a mother can give to her child.      

it’s halfway through the summer yet it seems as though i still can’t get enough of it!

i really enjoyed my barkada’s outing last weekend when we went to white cove in nasugbu,batangas. last time we had an outing to a beach was 3 years ago and it felt like ages since! and because we had a great time with the sun, sea and sand, we plan to go to puerto galera next weekend. this time, no baby to tag along

im also looking forward to Pahiyas festival on May 15. im sure there’ll be lots of people and tiangge there again. and by that time, my kuya and cousin ate will be here and we’re ready to spend their Pounds!

my kuya’s wedding is also fast approaching. i can also feel the pressure, as if i’ll be the one getting married :)  well, i’ve got no more time to slim down for a sleek dress and my baby’s hair is still short (she still looks like a boy)!

oh well, i just hope i could have all the time to spend the rest of the summer with my family and friends… one reason for me to leave the call center world again for the academe